Intoxication Ensues
by The Draigg
Summary: One day, Team RWBY receives a mysterious plate of cookies at their doorstep. Who made them? What do they have in them? And, most importantly, where will their weird trips take them? Read this one-shot now to find out!


**_Intoxication Ensues_**

**Hey, guys, it's The Draigg here. So, um, do you remember how I kinda, sorta, hinted that the next story would be the sequel to ****_The Sounds Of Vale_****? Yeah, I kinda got some bad news regarding that. Meaning, I'm not even sure where to start writing it. So, while I manage to sort out this mini-writer's block, just enjoy this one-shot. I hope it makes up for my tardiness. Anyway, I don't own RWBY, or anything I mention for that matter. So, let's get this one-shot started!**

**xxx**

That Saturday was almost normal for Team RWBY. Almost.

So far, not much had really happened. They had made it to the mid-afternoon without anything too weird happening. Right now, the members of Team RWBY were going along with their normal weekend routines. To be more specific, Ruby and Yang were watching some old cartoon on the small television on the work desk, Weiss was sitting on her bed, doing some online shopping on Blake's laptop, and Blake herself was reading some fan fiction off of her scroll. They weren't expecting any intrusion at all today.

As if on cue, a quick knock came at the door. That got everyone's attention away from what they were doing and directed it towards the door.

"I wonder who that is?" wondered Blake aloud.

"Probably Velvet or something. Someone should get the door." Weiss flatly said, her interest middling.

At that point, everyone in the room stared expectantly at Ruby. "Why me?", she asked everyone.

"I can't lose this bidding war." Justified Weiss, turning her attention back to the earring set she was looking at. There was no way that she would let GunFan0079 get those silver earrings before her!

"Just go get it." Blake said. To be honest, she just didn't feel like getting up from her chair. The ray of sunshine she was sitting in was appealing to the cat side of her personality.

Sighing in annoyance, Ruby pulled herself out of her chair and opened the door. However, she didn't see anybody at the door. Was it some dumb prank? Ruby was about to shut the door when she noticed something on the floor in front of her. It was a plate of chocolate chip cookies, with a note on top! Now, obviously Ruby wasn't the type of girl to turn down free cookies. So she picked up the plate and took it inside.

"Look guys! Free cookies!" Ruby happily announced as she placed the plate onto the desk.

"Who's it from?" Yang asked, not looking away from the television screen.

Ruby had to admit that was a good question. Maybe the note on the plate would shed some light on that. Unfolding the piece of paper, it simply read:

_Hope you enjoy them!_

_-A Fan of Team RWBY_

"Cool! We have fans!" Ruby cheered as she finished reading the note. Wasting no time, Ruby picked up a cookie and shoved it into her mouth.

"Oh. That's cool, I guess." Blake said, not looking up from her scroll.

"At least someone recognizes how competent we are." Added Weiss.

While the monochrome pair said that, Ruby took the plate around the room and offered cookies to all of her friends. It wouldn't be right for a team leader to reap all of the rewards of their work.

Weiss took three cookies, Blake took two, Yang took five, and Ruby get the remaining eight. That seemed like a fair amount to her. It was up to her teammates to take how much they wanted, anyway.

Now that the plate was empty, Ruby put it back on the desk and went back to watching cartoons. Everyone ate those cookies pretty quickly. They looked like regular cookies, but for some reason, they tasted weirdly good. Those cookies were gobbled up on only a few minutes.

Man, that was a great gift to make a regular Saturday even better.

**xxx**

Meanwhile, in a tree a few meters away from Team RWBY's dorm room window, Russel Thrush joined his teammate Cardin Winchester on a high branch. He had delivered the cookies without being seen, just like Cardin told him to do.

"So, how long until they feel it?", he asked.

Cardin pulled out a camcorder and turned it on. Then, he said, "We put a lot of stuff in those cookies. It shouldn't be that long.".

By stuff, he meant a ton of cough syrup and a bunch of other stuff Team CRDL had stolen from their chemistry class. Being idiots, they had no real idea how bad this would affect Team RWBY. All they figured that it was going to be funny. Plus, Cardin was looking for revenge, ever since he blamed them for breaking his legs. He did break them at THEIR concert, after all.

"Like… in a few minutes, or what?" Russel asked further.

Cardin punched Russel in the shoulder, and then said, "I'm not some science person! Just wait!". Then sighing, he muttered, "I don't know how you were the sperm that made it…".

"Can hear you, asshole." Russel grumbled angrily.

"I know, why do you think I said that? Just watch the damn window." Ordered Cardin. It was a good thing they wouldn't have to wait for very long, otherwise they probably killed each other before the show could really start.

**xxx**

The chemical concoction in the cookies kicked in twenty minutes after they finished eating them. Ruby, having eaten the most of the cookies, began to feel it first.

"Hhhheeeeeeeyyyyyyy gggguuuuyyyyyyssssss… IIIIII fffffeeeeeellllll ffffffuuuuunnnnnyyyyyyy…" Ruby said. It seemed like an eternity to her to get those words out. It was if time had slowed down to a snail's pace.

"Wwwwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaaatttttttt?" Weiss asked, also inn excruciatingly slow motion. Or, that's what it seemed like to Ruby, at least.

But, before Ruby could respond, a bright flash filled her vision. When her sight returned, she had no clue where she was. Was she in space? From what she could tell, she was in some blue-ish void, with what looked like stars and other bright lights zooming past her diagonally. She was floating around, looking amazed at what she was seeing.

Out of the corner of her vision, Ruby saw a girl in a flowing yellow dress. It was… Weiss? Was she seeing all of this? And, more importantly, how did she get here, anyway?

"A lot of people are becoming like us, Ruby." Weiss said in a sincere tone of voice.

"What do you mean?" Ruby asked back. What was she talking about?

"We can touch people's minds and hearts across the far reaches of space. Time is only an illusion, Ruby. Oh! I can see time!" Weiss replied.

Before Ruby could ask anything further, Weiss began to fly off, the dress folds moving as if they were a swan's wings.

"Wait, come back!" Ruby cried. Before she knew it, the two of them were revolving around each other. Ruby could see all the planets and galaxies that made up the night sky.

It was an amazing experience to behold

**xxx**

"Ruby?! What's wrong, Ruby?!" Yang cried as she held Ruby close to her. Ruby had fallen out of her chain and began to drool as soon as she said she was feeling weird.

"_I don't know. Is anything ever wrong?_" a mysterious, friendly sounding voice replied.

Looking around frantically, Yang demanded some answers. "Who said that? Huh?! Who?!" she cried to nobody in particular.

"_Over here._" The voice replied. Yang looked in the direction she heard the voice coming from. It led her straight at the wall. Was the wall talking?

"_Yep. You're looking right at me._" The wall said, as if it could hear Yang's thoughts.

Dropping Ruby out of her grasp, Yang walked right up to the wall and asked, "What do you want from me?".

"_I'm afraid that's not the right question._" The wall replied.

"Then what is?" Yang asked, sitting down cross-legged. Now she was curious. What did this wall have to say?

"_You should be asking what you want from ME._" Explained the wall.

Yang decided to test out the wall's sincerity by asking, "Okay, so what's the reason for existence?". That was as good a question to ask a talking wall as any.

"_Pfft, that one's child's play. You see, it all begins with knowing how many people are around you…_" the wall began to explain. Yang was completely engrossed at what this magic wall had to say. It was incredible! She never expected walls to be so smart!

**xxx**

Weiss looked incredibly confused at what she was witnessing. Yang was holding a one-sided conversation with a wall, and Ruby was rolling around on the floor, mumbling something about 'touching minds' and 'the heart of space'.

Turning to Blake, she asked, "We should do something, right?". However, she didn't get a reply, even though Blake was staring right at her.

"Um, Remnant to Blake?" Weiss asked as she waved a hand in front of Blake's face.

Blake stared in awe at the animated Weiss in front of her. For some reason, everyone was wearing sailor school uniforms. But why was Weiss distracting her? She needed to go to school right now, otherwise she would be late again!

But wait, she hadn't had breakfast yet! Oh well, that toast over there would just have to make do. Putting the piece of bread in her mouth, Blake dashed out of the room.

"_I hope I'm not late! Otherwise, sempai won't notice me today!"_, cried Blake in her mind.

Running further down the hallway, she secretly hoped that her sempai would run into her from around a corner. It would be just like in her dreams!

"Sempai! Sempai!" Blake shouted with her mouth full. She sprinted down the hall even faster, heading towards the classrooms.

**xxx**

Weiss was the last sane person left. She had lost a valuable ally when Blake, for some reason, put her scroll in her mouth and ran out of the room.

However, before she could chase after her, Weiss was stopped when she saw lava pouring in from under the bathroom door. How was this happening?! Did some dust experiment go horribly wrong?!

Terrified of being burned alive, Weiss scrambled for the nearest tall position, which happened to be Yang's bunk. Unfortunately, before she could gut up there completely, a part of her combat skirt caught on fire. Weiss was panicking as she climbed onto the bunk quickly and tore off her clothes except for her underwear.

Wait! Ruby and Yang were still down there! She had to save them!

"Yang! Ruby! Grab my hand! Take it! RRRUUUUBBBYYYYY!" Weiss cried out as she reached out the sisters.

Yang was the first to go, as she was enveloped by the lava quickly. Weiss was completely horrified as Yang was pulled under the lava's surface, still talking to herself.

"NOOO! Ruby, your sister… oh god!" she said, tears beginning to stream down her face. Sure, Yang Xiao Long was big oaf, but she was till a teammate, damn it! She didn't deserve to die that way!

"Come on, Ruby, take it!" then shouted Weiss, waving her outstretched arm at Ruby. Maybe she could at least save her! However, Ruby went the way of her sister. She began to sink under the waves of lava, muttering something about 'souls weighed down by gravity'. Soon, there was nobody left for Weiss to save.

"RUBYYYYYYY! NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed as the last of Ruby disappeared, completely incinerated.

Weiss then curled up in a tight ball on the bed and began to cry hard. She couldn't save anybody! It was all her fault that they died. All she had left was to survive, to keep the memory of her partner and teammates alive. They were alive as long as someone remembered them.

**xxx**

"Oh man, this is pure gold!" Cardin exclaimed as he filmed what was happening through the window. This was the perfect revenge to take on Team RWBY! Once this was up on the internet, his previously broken legs would be avenged!

"Yeah, man!" Russel agreed. He then raised his hand for a high-five. But then, his hand collided with a crow nest on the branch above him. That woke up a very, very angry pair of birds.

Seeing the intruders, the crows began to swoop down at Cardin and Russel. For Cardin, this was an all too familiar feeling. This wasn't the first time he had been attacked by vicious crows.

"AARRRGGHHH!" shouted Russel as he swatted at a bird. Unfortunately for him, his blow missed, but his momentum carried him off of the branch. He fell at least a few stories before he crashed into the ground.

As Cardin looked below him to see his injured 'friend', a crow attacked his face. That sent him falling out of the tree as well.

"NOT AGAIN!" he screamed as he fell towards the ground. His fall was (somewhat) cushioned by Russel's unconscious body. Huh, that was quite a stroke of luck!

But then, Cardin's hopes (and camera) were shattered as the camcorder collided with his face a few seconds later. The last thing he saw was the grey plastic of the camera about to ram into his head before he was knocked out.

**xxx**

It was about two hours later when Team RWBY began to get out of their hallucinations. The first one to break out of it was Blake.

She regained her normal thought process in front if the Theater Club office. For some reason, it was covered in deep scratch marks. Did she cause those? Looking at her hands, it seemed like the answer was yes. After all, her fingernails were now chipped and cracked.

"Can I come out now?" asked a meek, terrified voice from behind the door.

"Velvet?" Blake asked, confused as to why she was here, of all places.

Opening the door, Velvet poked out her head a little. "Y-you're not going to call me s-sempai again, are you?" she asked, still scared of Blake.

"I called you that?" Blake questioned as she began to feel embarrassed. Her face grew a deep shade of red as the idea that she acted like she was in one of her romance anime sank in. That's probably what happened. The only other place she would use the word 'sempai' was during intimate moments with Yang.

"That's not all you did!" Velvet complained, now fully opening the door. "You showed up here with your scroll in your mouth, and said that I was going to make your hips move on their own!".

At that, Blake looked around for her scroll. It was lying on the floor, completely covered in saliva. Picking it up, she wiped off the drool and put it in her pocket. When she turned back to Velvet, she was standing there with her hands on her hips, looking as if she was demanding an answer.

"I… I…. sorry!" Blake quickly apologized before running away. She just couldn't handle the sheer embarrassment she was feeling right now.

**xxx**

Next to regain their senses was Ruby. She was roughly jostled out of her trippy vision when Weiss, for no good reason, died and turned into a psychic ghost.

"Whaa…." groaned Ruby, rubbing her head. Her brain felt like it was going to explode right now.

Getting into a sitting position, she looked around. For some reason, Yang was sitting in front of a wall, enthusiastically nodding at it for some reason. As for Weiss, she was only wearing her snowflake-print underwear, looking completely frazzled.

"_Well,_" she thought, "_Better talk to Yang first._". Ruby then stood up and walked over to Yang. Even though Ruby didn't know it, Yang's trip was coming to a close as well.

To Yang, the wall was just finishing up it's explanation on why Yang could use people as weapons.

"_So, since humanity came from dust, that means that you can fire them out of a gun, like regular rounds._" The wall explained.

"Wall, you're totally blowing my mind right now!" Yang said with a large grin. But then she could've sworn that she could hear Ruby calling for her in the distance.

"_Yang… Yang…._" Echoed Ruby's distant voice.

"I think my sis is calling me, Wall." Apologized Yang.

"_You may go. I've imparted all of my knowledge unto you. It's up to you to use that knowledge wisely._" The wall said, before growing silent.

"Thank you, Wall-sensei." Yang said before returning to reality. As it turned out, Ruby was vigorously shaking her shoulders and saying her name a lot.

"Could you stop doing that?" Yang asked, brushing off Ruby's hands and standing up.

"Yang! You're okay!" Ruby cried as she Ursa-hugged Yang.

'Yeah, yeah… Ruby… I think I've just gained enlightenment." Commented Yang, feeling completely Zen. It was if she unlocked the secrets of the universe.

But before Ruby could ask just when the hell Yang meant by that, both of their attention was drawn by Blake quickly ducking into the room, her face completely flushed.

"What happened to you?" Yang asked.

Slumping against the wall, Blake simply replied, 'I don't wanna say…".

If it was that bad, then neither Yang nor Ruby wanted to even know.

"WWWHHHHAAAAHHHHH!" Weiss cried as she tumbled out of Yang's bunk. Blake and Yang had forgotten that Weiss was in the room with them.

Rubbing her head, Weiss stood up. Why was she feeling so cool right now? Was there a light breeze in here? Then, looking down, she noticed her state of (un)dress. Yelping, Weiss yanked the sheets off of her bed and wrapped them around herself.

"What the hell is happening?!" Weiss cried in shock. What happened to her clothes?! Oh, this was terrible! Of all the days to wear her snowflake underwear, too!

Yang and Blake responded in the only way they knew how: they laughed their heads off.

"Bwwwahahahahahahah! The… the snowflakes! Hehehehehehehe!" laughed Yang as she rolled around on the ground, holding her stomach. Blake, being more stoic than Yang, let out a low chuckle instead. In either case, Weiss was embarrassed beyond words.

"Sh-shut up! It's not funny, you d-dolts!" Weiss said, trying to defend what was left of her dignity. It didn't work. If anything, the two laughed even harder. Ruby was the only person who tried to help her. She was blushing furiously, holding out Weiss' discarded clothes out to her.

Snatching them out of Ruby's hand, Weiss dashed into the bathroom to change. With the laughter settling down, Team RWBY began to think why they all had those weird trips. Independently, they all came to the same conclusion:

Never eat strange cookies that you find at your doorstep ever again.

**xxx**

**Well, I hope that this short story makes up for my lack of creativity in other areas. But, don't fret! When I come back, I'll come out guns blazing! I'll be back with another great story for you, the fans, to enjoy once again! All I'm asking of you guys is to hold out until then. Just be sure to tell me what you think of this literary appetizer in the reviews section! So, this is The Draigg, signing off to work on the next story!**


End file.
